christinefuckingchapel:

jadeb0t:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

i think that’s called game of thrones

image

(via butterscotchcreys)


terufrying:

"gays will push their sexuality onto their children"

funny because that’s exactly what every straight person does.

(via hiphippare)


operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via kissedmequiteinsane)



You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.

We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”

I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”

He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.

Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals  (x)

(via dinojay)



xargen:

blacksquares:

next time you’re at a party in a town that you hate or dont give a shit about or something see how many dudes you can sneak off with and like go to take off their pants but then just pull their belt out of their pants and leave. see how many belts you can collect & compete with your friends. this is a sport called final fantasying

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(via milesjai)


(via nobody2know)




bebinn:

youngmarxist:

So if we have to show women what the baby looks like in their womb and tell them how the process works before allowing them to get an abortion, does that mean we should teach our soldiers about the culture of the lands we’re invading, and explain to them that the people we want them to kill have families and feel pain, just like Americans?

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(via themidnightproblem)


oswhin:

it is my greatest wish to time travel to the future and watch historically inaccurate period dramas about the early 2000s

(via chambergambit)


the-one-blog-to-rule-them-all:

i think it would be neat if netflix doubled as a dating site like “here are 9 other singles in your area that watched supernatural for 12 straight hours”

(via gyzym)


HYDRA, S.H.I.E.L.D. Two sides of a coin that’s no longer currency.

(via murphels)


(x)

(via queerbuchanan)